Manar Azreik (Manaar) – 1st Book

The Practice of Trust

We All Have an Addiction in Some Way or Another

Part 1 – How the Mind Stops Functioning as the Center of Thought

  • The Buddha once famously and very wisely said: “People are not addicted to drugs or alcohol; they are addicted to escaping reality.” This cannot be truer in the world that we live in. Whether we accept it or even realize it or not, all of us are, in one way or another, addicted to something or someone. We all like to believe that there is something, a particular essence in that thing, that gets us addicted to it. We could not be more wrong.

    In my experience, addiction is the result of how the brain is wired. As human beings, we are wired to have some kind of addiction. While how the addiction translates can be different for different people, the fact is that everyone does experience it. It can be in the form of substance abuse, excessive consumption of sugary foods, gambling, sex addiction, smoking, and so on, but it will affect you sooner or later. As surprising as it may sound, even codependency is a form of addiction. We become dependent on someone else because the feeling of codependency provides us with a certain kind of pleasure, which we might not always be able to detect, thinking it to exist only in our heads.

    However, this explains why we cannot survive for even two days without the person we depend on or why it is so hard to break away from the cycle of codependency. 

    Most of us think that we can’t break this cycle. The problem with codependency is that it often gives many of us the excuse not to live life or to live it in a more passive state, not taking responsibility for our decisions because we don’t trust ourselves. Most of us think this way, making it impossible to break this cycle.

    Perhaps you are wondering how I know so much about this and why you might want to keep reading. Let’s deal with the first question first. My understanding of human behavior is based on observation of myself first and then that of others. The one thing that my experiences and observations have taught me is that we are all wired for addiction. As for why you should listen to me: everything I say, share, or tell you, comes from experience, and we can all agree that experience is the best teacher; whatever it teaches us is always genuine.

    In talking about my life, I should start at age twelve, when I became the national Judo Champion of my native country, Israel. It was one of the most empowering experiences I had ever had. That title was like a crown that I wore for seven consecutive years. Judo had always been a big part of my life, but when I won the championships, I realized how it was related to the transference of energy in the world. As I started seeing that commonality, I then became able to manifest it in the real world by using the principles of Judo.

    I am writing this book to help you turn your life around as I was able to turn mine around, despite all the troubles and trauma you may have undergone. I will guide you through the steps on how to become self-aware by navigating through your vibrations, your inner world—your inner landscape, or whatever you like to call it. I hope to help you understand how you can convert thoughts into feelings and then translate these feelings into a rhythm. And then, from that rhythm, you can conjure up beautiful music that can change or even ultimately uproot old thought patterns and bring you new ways of thinking and living your life. 

    I will teach you how – with the breath, prayer, mantras, sound healing, and tuning – you can change the brain’s chemistry so you can clear out the destructive, self-harming patterns within it. Through this book, I will help you find a way through the music to heal yourself and your relationships. This will help you develop a sense of unity within your body’s sacred temple.

    Whether it’s Eastern or Western, every social dynamic has a code, no matter where you are. We all live with a social agreement. Take COVID, for instance; it comes with a big-time code, and many of us feel we must follow its regulations. The codes we live our lives by influence our brain function. They provide our brains with an extra coating. Once you understand this, through my explanation in this book, you will have a better understanding of who you are, the role society has played in shaping you, the role that you choose to play, and whether that role is positive or negative and finally, how you can exit from that role.

    Yes, you can exit the code because there is always a choice, even if you do not realize it just yet. You don’t have to be stuck in it. In fact, you have to understand that your choice determines how successfully you overcome addiction.

    As you become more aware of this, you no longer need anyone else to help you out of a situation; you become more than capable of helping yourself by accessing the meridian points in your energetic body field and by understanding their interconnectedness. 

    This process is similar to acupuncture, which can heal your body by creating open-flowing energy with needles. It will certainly help you out. However, it might not always seem like it does. When you are undergoing a trauma, your mind shuts down, and you cannot think straight. You may feel trapped and unable to escape the pain caused by childhood trauma. It may seem that you will never be able to get out of your situation, no matter what happens, but eventually, you will. Trust me, you will, just as I did. 

    I came from the shadow of my family into my own servant light being; it felt at times that I opened my heart to the inexplorable. It was surreal, something even I could not believe I had found. 

    I hope that you know that if I can do it, you may too! 

    I want you to know that there is no limit to what you can do and manifest in this world. 

    It might be a slow and gradual process for you in the beginning. However, once you manifest and open your heart to what the eyes cannot see, the truth unveils itself in due time. 

    So, let me share my story with you.

    I was traumatized in my childhood. It caused me severe damage and pain. But today, I have reframed my perspective and consider my traumatic experiences as a gift—a gift that taught me a lot and made me who I am today. This can be true for any traumatic incident in your life. You might not understand why a bad thing is happening to you. But if you go beyond the rage, anxiety, and fear and dig deeper, you can learn how to acquire the hidden gifts of that trauma. 

    Traumatic incidents cause internal disruption. They seem to create a loss of thought or power. However, this is actually the beginning of some new, much better thought. For instance, the loss of innocence, the loss of a parent, or the loss of some sort of connection to something is usually the beginning of a connection to the Divine. You lose something that moves you away from that connection; this loss brings you the opportunity to find your way back home. 

    Let me tell you my story of the trauma that I underwent as a little girl. Perhaps I should say a little boy because even though I am in a female body, I always felt like I was a boy in spirit, but I felt trapped in this body. Growing up, I was confused about my gender identity and sexual orientation. It was painful for me to try to fit into the norm of my society. I was raised in a Christian Arab Palestinian family living in Israel. I constantly gave up my true nature to meet someone else’s expectations. I felt that I was not allowed to be myself; I followed the rules, and dressed as a woman, thinking if I did not dress according to the norms of my culture, no one would accept and welcome me. I feared that nobody would understand my inner feelings. Even if somebody would, my respect would fade away.

    My feelings about women were suppressed by a society whose norms denied what I felt. As I began to hide my true self, the process became overwhelming. I soon realized that it takes more than discipline to pretend to be someone you are not. I learned early on that there are things in life that we cannot handle through ordinary communication. It also made me recognize my deepest emotions and the voice of the Divine Spirit inside of me, which I found while suppressing my true nature.

    When I familiarized myself with that, I adopted a new voice that taught me how to communicate with my oppressor without uttering a single word non-verbally. I kept listening to my internal dialogue as its many voices manifested themselves in the real world until, finally, I let go and allowed myself not to be controlled by them and surrendered to what happened next in my life–without having my opinion mixed in the middle. I learned to listen to the hidden, inner messages of my oppressor as I learned to bridge the gap between the field called the space in between. 

    Amidst all this confusion, I found Judo to be my saving grace. It taught me to fall, knowing I would always be safe and supported. Though I was lucky to develop trust through Judo, not everybody is. This is why I will share with you other ways to develop the practice of trust…

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Looking forward to hearing from you,

With care, gratitude, and harmony,

Manar (Manaar) Azreik